Grey hair is only sexy on a man, if he’s wealthy.
Otherwise, it looks a bit lonely.
Yearly Archives: 2008
Pulled Pork
“I’ll have a pulled pork sandwich, two-fisted, dressed as a portly woman.”
Was the last line of my dream.
Apparently, from the restaurant menu, that means a pork sandwich, with two helpings of ground pork.
and then I woke up.
The Sensitive Terrorist
I was going through the security checkpoint at the Raleigh airport. Considering it was the holidays, it was pretty slow. Until, the slow drawed, slow moving security guard watching his favorite show on the X-Ray asked me to open my backpack.
Ugh, I thought.
“Is this your 4 ounces of Sensodyne toothpaste?”
“Um, yes it is.” I answered, slightly embarrassed by my sensitivity.
“Are you aware that any liquids or gels over three and a half ounces need to be in a plastic bag, or checked?”
“Um, well, I, um…Yes, I guess I was but…”
“I’m going to have to throw this in the trash.”
Ugh, I thought.
“Is this your 4 ounces of Sensodyne toothpaste?”
“Um, yes it is.” I answered, slightly embarrassed by my sensitivity.
“Are you aware that any liquids or gels over three and a half ounces need to be in a plastic bag, or checked?”
“Um, well, I, um…Yes, I guess I was but…”
“I’m going to have to throw this in the trash.”
Really?
You’re going to confiscate my Sensodyne toothpaste? I’m mean, I kind of get the theory about using gels as explosive materials, and maybe I can excuse the level of ridiculousness that the TSA has taken this liquid witch hunt to, but…
Sensodyne?!
“Hey Musharraf! Are you ready to take down capitalism in the name of Allah?!”
“Yes!”
“Are you ready to give your life as a commitment to this cause?!”
“Yes! Absolutely! I’m in! But wait! Hold on a second, these sensitive teeth are killing me! I mean really, I’ve got to get a hold of some very gentle and delicate pain-relieving toothpaste that can help rebuild the enamel on my teeth over time. I realize I might be dead in a matter of days, but certainly I can go pain free in the mean time.”